You hear the saying a lot: it's not goodbye, it's see you later. But what about those people you never really talked to but became a casual comfort in your life, that one person you’d smile at each day on your way to G block, or that person who always slept on your couch the studyhall before you so you’d have to wait around until they woke up and ran out the door for class? Those people are surely not a see you later--they are a goodbye forever. So, in the words of Deal Lewis, "How do I say goodbye?" I never really knew them, but they were in my life. How do I say goodbye to that one girl with purple hair who I thought was so cool, because it only looked purple in the sunlight? I never talked to her, much less smiled, but she was there. How do I say goodbye to the countless freshman I’ve seen and said, “I have never seen that person before” or “they go here?” How do I say goodbye to the teachers I never had, but would see them in their office now and then, reminding me they exist? How do I say bye to them? All those people and faces I never knew, but I won't get the chance of knowing them because I'm leaving? The people who made no impact on my life, but I saw each day? All of this to say, I might never say goodbye to them. In a year, I probably won't remember them. They'll slowly fade into the back of my mind and not be seen again, except maybe in an odd dream where they will be again, another stranger I never knew.
What about saying goodbye to the people I actually knew? The people who changed my life and made it much better. How do I say goodbye to them, knowing that it might be a goodbye forever? The people who I played sports with, the people who I sat next to in class, the ones who made me laugh, but we weren't all that close? How do I say goodbye to you, knowing that you actually changed my life, no matter how much you did. I'll probably hug you, say we’ll keep in touch, but apart from an odd birthday message, it’ll be goodbye forever. How do I say goodbye to the teachers I saw each day, who had me in their class, the ones who often told me to be quiet and do my work? All my teachers have impacted my life; they've all helped me grow and taught me things, and they have changed my life. How do I say goodbye to them, knowing it's likely forever?
How do I even say "see you later?" I don't want to say that to my people, the ones whom I truly love with all my heart. The people who have seen me bawl my eyes out and laugh till I couldn't stand anymore. I don't want to say see you later to the people I see daily, because I know the next time won't be for months, if not years. I can't imagine how quiet my life will be without all their chaos. I don't want to say "see you later" for fear it's really a goodbye. What if I don't see them ever again? What if the friendship I thought was so strong wasn't as strong as I thought?
I don't think saying goodbye can be taught. I’m not even sure it can be learned or made any easier. I think slowly, over time, you start becoming slightly numb to it. That you get used to the feeling of leaving people. My mum told me in freshman year that “sometimes God only puts people in your life for a little bit, but that's when you needed them the most” (Viviana Boyd) and maybe that's true, so maybe saying goodbye can be a good thing. It means its time for people to go and do the amazing things in store for them, and time for you to do the amazing things in store for you, even if its on the other side of the world.
Comments
Post a Comment