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Preparation for Suffering

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 By Hyorim Ahn

“What time do you guys want the curfew to be?” Time clicked 11:28 PM when the service ended and the event MC came up to ask the crowd. 

“3 AM!!!” the students shouted in unison. 

“12 AM!!!” the staff and pastors eagerly requested, wanting to rest to save up energy for the next conference day. 

“We’ll make it 1:30 AM, a middle ground for the two sides. If you guys do anything stupid, our security guards will come and beat you up! Now pick up your ramen for a night snack from your church staff and go–” as soon as the MC declared the curfew and snacks, the kids went crazy trying to go back to their rooms and eat their ramen after spending their whole day on worship service. 

Attending the Malaysia Youth KOSTA(KOrea STudents All nations), a Korean Christian conference camp, brought a multitude of blessings and growth to my spirituality and helped me to take another step towards my faith. The pastors addressed topics not easily talked about, such as dealing with doubts in faith, knowledge, and a human behavior that tends to act or think selfishly, which I highly appreciated for challenging and broadening our perspectives. 

Yet over the series of sermon services from the different speakers, I realized and grew confident most that God was trying to prepare me for a hardship. To be honest, the thought provoked an uneasy nervousness and discomfort in my heart, yet at the same time He assured me through the speeches given that He would accompany me through the chaos and hardships, and help me to bear fruit by submitting to His plans. He also emphasized that it was through the hard times where I could grow deep in my relationship with Him and abide in Him. 

This repeated theme of hardship found me again during my church service on Sunday in PIC, as Pastor Neal gave us a sermon of how we should expect and persevere suffering while also rejoicing in them. At the start of the New Year, our family has this tradition of selecting Bible verses for each other, and picking quotes from this lady called Mother Basilea. In my head, the quotes from Mother Basilea that I picked for this year suddenly dawned on me again after the sermon, scaring me: 

“Never forget to give thanks to God – not even on the darkest of days. He is waiting for this. By thanking Him, you will draw His help down and receive new blessings and fights. The thankful will never lack anything.”

“Hear and do what Jesus says. He bids you to believe in His victory and promises and count on them. Then you will see His victory and the glory of God both here and in heaven. God reveals Himself to the eyes of faith.”

Then I read through these quotes again, and I thought that God tried to let me know that I should stay strong, dwell in Him, and think in a gratitude-giving manner, although the suffering would inevitably reach my situation somehow. 

I thought that I was actually going through some at the moment, such as senioritis, transitioning to adulthood, getting into college, preparing for scholarships, preparing myself for a farewell to my community, and more. Concerns and problems built up to a point where I found myself struggling and overwhelmed. However, God communicating all these messages allowed me to find peace and strength again, and reminded me to fear less, having the greatest supporting Father by my side all the time. That was my week’s testimony. 

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